Tag Archives: Divorce

Parenting After Divorce: What You Should Do for Your Kids

Divorce cracked paperBoulder is one of the best cities in Colorado for raising a family. But no matter how great this location is, it could still be the worst place for your kids if you are not a responsible parent.

Raising children is not easy, especially after divorce. Here are some things to remember so that your kids will not get caught in the crossfire of co-parenting.

Review rules on custody

Let’s say your ex-spouse is the non-custody parent; he or she is allowed visitation rights to your children. Your ex-spouse may also take the children on road trips and other travel arrangements, provided he or she abides by the custody agreement you came up with the help of a family lawyer from burnhamlaw.com.

Share notes with the other parent

Even if you are already separated, you still need to communicate with your ex-spouse if you notice any changes in your children’s behavior. Sometimes, they may open up to one parent but not the other, or they could be embarrassed to talk to both.

These are understandable when they reach a certain age, but it does not mean you should just let them drift away. Try to be a parent and a friend to your kids at the same time, and if they open up to you, ask your partner for some advice on how to deal with their issues.

Be involved in your kids’ activities

There is a fine line between being a controlling parent and being a supportive one. Be the latter and check in with their school to see how they are doing, but do not decide which activities they should take just because you want them to move towards a particular career path. This is a choice you should help them make, but the final decision is theirs.

Parenting is hard, indeed. Make it easier by not making all the decisions for your partner or children. Be supportive, but know when to step back.

The Ins and Outs of Custody Laws for Teenage Children

Child Custody in New Mexico

Some marriages simply can’t manage to remain intact. One way or another, a couple will call it quits, while also putting a certain level of strain on their social relationships. If a couple has children, however, things get a bit more complicated. But that’s the least of the problems involved. What if the children are already teens?

This situation is a dilemma that child custody lawyers often have to face. It’s one thing for a judge to decide and not worry about what a toddler wishes. Teenagers, on the other hand, make the jury’s job tougher, as they typically have something to say about matters, to some extent.

Local Laws

In New Mexico, child custody decisions significantly involve the best interests of a child. Numerous factors affect this, but among the main deciding factors are the child’s desires if he/she is 14 or older. At this age, a child has a certain degree of mental autonomy to decide with whom to live. It’s not that easy, however, as factors such as the relationship with parents and other immediate relatives can sway a final decision either way.

The jury doesn’t always grant requests, however. For instance, a child can choose to live with a parent who can’t ably provide for their needs (or give them improper benefits, like extremely lenient policies), which can prove detrimental in the long run. Or the child may feel the responsibility to side with a parent who needs their care when it should be the other way around.

Deciding Factors

Alluding to biology, teenagers aren’t exactly fit to decide on tough matters such as custody battles. Their brains are not mature enough, as does their way of thinking. Until a person reaches the age of 25, the rational part of the brain isn’t fully developed yet making them physically ‘unfit’ to decide on anything concerning their lives in the long run.

The more rational adults come in this case. Despite marital issues, a couple should serve to provide sound decision-making in the event of a custodial battle. Teenagers can’t know what they want or need yet. At the end of the day, a custodial battle must end with the child having a chance to a good, productive life.

When Seemingly Perfect Marriages Aren’t Perfect After All

DivorceLife is unpredictable. One minute you’re laughing heartily with your spouse, swapping stories energetically. You feel as if this is the closest you've ever been. But in a blink of an eye, you become more than roommates, but less than lovers.

Everything seemed perfect at first. So, how did everything end up in shambles?

When Priorities are Lost

According to legal expert DivorceAttorneyinLongIsland.com, some marriages end due to “whacked” priorities. While some couples can manage to balance life’s demands with their relationship, others end up diverting their attention. They mind the kids and paying bills more than each other. As a result, they drift apart.

Denying the importance of regular bonding compromises the quality of your marriage. If you don’t set some time for your spouse, expect the marriage to be shaky.

Growing Apart, Not Together

Relationships will always have ups and downs. Couples know the difficulty of reaching a common decision, especially if they have conflicting judgments. Your spouse might like tennis, you don’t. So instead of bonding together, you pursue different interests.

When a couple fails to bond together, they are sure to drift apart as well. It is critical for couples to engage in activities together regularly to enjoy each other’s company.

Loss of Respect

Once the spark of first love dies, couples often take each other for granted. Spouses forget to show appreciation or apologize when they do something wrong. In some cases, they show a level of courtesy similar to that they show to a stranger.

Discontent and lack of respect is what triggers conflict and infidelity. If you’re not careful, you might fall victim to this relationship killer.

There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage. Each relationship will have its ups and downs but it’s up to you to deal with it properly.

Divorce

Why Divorce is Harder on Men than on Women

DivorceWhile it is true that most men are less affectionate than most women, they tend to have a more difficult time coping with divorce. According to a study from the Journal of Men’s Health, divorce can have a serious impact on their health, as divorced men are more prone to experience depression than those who are married.

The way men and women handle the divorce process greatly affects how they feel during and after the breakup. Women usually seek assistance from friends, making them more emotionally prepared when dealing with the challenges of divorce. Men don’t typically address their emotion early on, which makes the grieving process harder.

Not Grieving Properly

Law firms like MattewFamilyLawyers.com notes that most men don’t let themselves grieve properly during the process. It is common for them to just deal with their own feelings and oppose other ways of letting their emotions out. The firm says that psychological help is as important as legal help. Divorce lawyers can make the process easier, while the presence and expertise of psychologists, or even just talking to someone can help them deal with their emotions better.

Lost in the Process

When the husband is the breadwinner or the “protector” of the family, they tend to lose their sense of identity after a divorce. As the dissolution of marriage changes their life setup, they are forced to re-identify their roles. Men who struggle to rebuild their confidence after divorce can join a new organization or get involved in activities that will eventually help them cope with their new reality.

Children can Help

Men who feel ashamed or distressed because of the divorce might consider getting away to deal with their emotions. This is why it is important to remain connected with kids, if they have them. When they maintain a good relationship with them, it can ease feelings of shame and give them an easier time to re-instill their sense of identity or belonging. Love from children can be very healing.

Divorce is never easy for those who are involved. It is important to seek legal assistance to make the process a little less difficult. Men, furthermore, need to drop the “big boys don’t cry” concept, as it can have a negative impact on their well-being. Seeking help or talking to others is beneficial to cope with the process better.